Keeping Calm and Carrying on
by TheManInTheRedWaistCoat
Summary: An Essay by Leonard Bicknall


16th November 2012

**Keeping Calm and Carrying on **

**An Essay by Leonard Bicknall**

A common thing that I have always heard from citizens (and occasionally foreigners) of this fine Country is that it is boring. "Nothing ever happens in Great Britain" I hear. America has various "viral outbreaks" such as Racoon city and Louisville. Japan (and most of East Asia for that matter) has its giant monster attacks in the form of Gojira and Gamera. Yes, the British Isles must seem banal and uninteresting by comparison. Why, it seems that the only thing that people can recall is the 2006 Christmas star incident

However, since joining British intelligence I have seen that this is not the case as our little island is quite the hub of activity that you may not see upon first glance. The main reason for the people of this country being somewhat ignorant of these happenings is this: The handy work of covert organisations that the government has put in place to protect the county. Organisations such as U.N.I.T., Department 19, A.R.C. and Ministry Intelligence itself all do a good job of thoroughly covering up anything that could "damage the spirit and morale of British citizens". Since I took over the mantle of M from Emma Peel in 2009, I have been granted access to files that contain information forbidden to the public. I soon found out that, once researched, the true extent of these cover-ups are truly extraordinary with events such as attempted Alien invasions, time-and-space anomalies and appearances of creatures long thought to be legend.

Of all these secrets, one event seemed to stick in my mind above all others. Said event occurred in March of 2009 over the London Borough of Islington and to most people was just a phenomenon in weather causing the clouds to turn a bright purple and occasional bursts of lightning. What actually happened that day was in fact an apocalypse of biblical proportions. From what we gathered, we believed it to have been brought about by the antichrist as foretold in the New Testament. This antichrist is thought to have been a reclusive British male who had been in hiding for some time and had possibly been involved in all sorts of mystical dark arts (in other terms, magic). This apocalypse was not averted by members of the crown however, but by three individuals by the name of Mina Murray, Allan Quatermain (thought to be a descendant of the Victorian-era explorer) and Orlando who had managed to stay off government radar for fifty years. These individuals proved to be quite the conundrum for me as their files make reference of them serving British intelligence from 1898 to the mid-1940s. Perhaps the strangest thing about this trio is the member just named "Orlando". Interestingly, the files on "Orlando" seem to refer to her as both male and female depending on the time when they were written. Upon reading about their supposed government service in 1898, I discovered that they were part of a long disbanded group of extraordinary individuals that was put together to defend the country. Once I had researched further, I discovered that this early 20th century ensemble was not the only one of its kind as the Crown had previously brought together noted men and women into a "league" of sorts to do the duty of the country. The first such group was formed as far back as the 17th century by orders of Queen Gloriana herself. Members included famous explorer Captain Robert Owe-Much, Spanish aristocrat Don Quixote and someone who curiously shares description and name with that of the aforementioned Orlando. The second group of this kind was put together in the 1750s by the famous (but then-elderly) traveller Lemuel Gulliver and included the reverend Doctor Christopher Syn who also used his alias Captain Clegg whilst in the team. The next League is the one in question that was supposedly associated with two of the three heroes that have been previously mentioned. They were formed by the first M, James Moriarty in 1898. Members on this collection included the African explorer Allan Quatermain (coincidentally the ancestor of one of the aforementioned trio), notorious Indian science-pirate Prince Dakkar (Also called Captain Nemo and the Great-grandfather of Sikh terrorist Jack Dakkar), the large ape-like brute Edward Hyde (Who was often associated with one Henry Jekyll) and the psychotic scientist Dr Hawley Griffin who suffered from the delusion that he was invisible. This iteration of the group was short lived, however, as it only lasted a few months. Despite this short time together, the group did do great work in halting the Great London Airship battle and Mister Hyde was honoured for his efforts during the Martian war through the renaming of Serpentine Park to Hyde Park. I currently do not know of Mina Murray's involvement with this group but am aware that she held the role of leader to the next version of the league, formed in 1907 by Mycroft Holmes (Brother of detective Sherlock Holmes). This is the league that included Mina Murray, Allan Quatermain and Orlando along with thief A.J Raffles and occultist Thomas Carnacki. It was recorded that there were tensions between the members of this group which definitely reflected there performance in action. This is evident when we look at the appalling record of failed missions. The first of these being the King George the fifth's coronation crisis of 1911 resulting in numerous citizen deaths. The second failure they experienced was when Janni Dakkar (Daughter of former League member Prince Dakkar) destroyed London's East-end dockside with her submarine war machine the Nautilus. Finally, the league were unable to stop the terrorist acts of their French counterparts "Les Hommes Mysterieux" which resulted in the explosion of Paris Opera house. This group eventually disassembled following the deaths of members Carnacki and Raffles. However, following the dynamiting of the Channel Causeway, our remaining trio simply disappeared until the aforementioned Islington incident. Although it is worthy to note that there was another fiasco in 1958. Following the collapse of the Ingsoc regime, Quatermain and Murray reportedly re-emerged and stole important files from British Intelligence. Though, it is most likely that this pair were either descendants of the original duo or just plain imposters. Either way they both stole crucial information regarding matters of national security and succeeded in taking the life of the noted Hugo "Bulldog" Drummond – One of the agents tasked with apprehending them. The next time they would reappear would be the previously mentioned Islington incident and since then I have not been able to find any information on the trio. However, their story has garnered my interest in re-establishing another trial "league" for defence of the country. I am currently researching a vigilante black magician from Ireland and an Immortal American who was previously part of our Cardiff branch. God save the Queen,

Leonard Bicknall. 


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